Well

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform) 02/02/2016 at 16:28 • Filed to: None

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I visited a psychiatrist yesterday to get a diagnosis for ADD. I received a diagnosis for ADD, depression and anxiety.

Today I had the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had in my life, all for seemingly trivial things.

I was prescribed Strattera by my general practicioner, and I’m told it will help with a whole number of things, including my ADD.

And then I realized something. Despite having a massive anxiety attack, you’d barely know it if I hadn’t said anything. I’m surprisingly good at remaining stoic through these sorts of situations, and remembering back to my past experiences, it all makes sense.

So that’s that. I felt like writing about it, just to clear my head a little.

This is a car I spotted yesterday. I have no clue what it is though.

My citroen won't start > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:31

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Porsche built fast 500E. I have chronic depression and mild anxiety, we are all in this together.

Brian Silvestro > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:32

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omg 500E

TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:32

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Yep, no clue what that could be...

TheHondaBro > TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! 02/02/2016 at 16:34

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I think it’s a BMW.

Mercedes Streeter > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:34

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*hugs* I’m still in therapy for that whole “epiphany” thing that lead me to hitting rock bottom back in October.

And as of current, I just got double rejected for both a new employer (the story behind that is amazingly depressing) and for several apartments. The countdown timer keeps falling: 13 days for me to find both a new job and an apartment.

On topic: Huh, does 500E mean it’s a Fiat? :P

GMart > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:34

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I think they’re both Camrys. White one might be an Avalon.

yitznewton > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:35

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Lambo dude.

Blind Willie Tyresmoke Namington IV > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:36

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Pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude

TheHondaBro > Mercedes Streeter 02/02/2016 at 16:39

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Man if I were in that situation, I wouldn’t be able to function.

Xyl0c41n3 > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:43

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Glad you were able to get a diagnosis. I hope the meds help alleviate your anxiety. It’s not a fun feeling at all. :/

ETA: photo of Enzo. He helps me decompress after stressful days at work.

Mercedes Streeter > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:43

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I’m kinda not. The only reason I’m not in a puddle of tears at my desk is because I think I am a little dehydrated. I don’t even want to go to class tonight...just want to go home and go to sleep.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:46

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It’s obviously a 430E

I saw this one at the local country club.

TheHondaBro > Xyl0c41n3 02/02/2016 at 16:46

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Yeah its a shitty feeling.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:49

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ASD and GAD.

It’s not fun.

But I think of it this way, I least I have something to alleviate my (comparatively) piss poor test scores (29 on ACT)!

Xyl0c41n3 > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:49

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*hugs*

TheHondaBro > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 02/02/2016 at 16:51

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That sucks.

Tareim - V8 powered > yitznewton 02/02/2016 at 16:57

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you’re both wrong, it’s a Trabant obviously...

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 16:58

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Imagine you have to physically control yourself from saying stupid shit like “I DONT FEEL LIKE IT” or “BUT WHY”. You then persevorate (GAD) over this trivial shit (college acceptance that’s out your control) until you’re crying withdrawn and WAIT you’re now thinking about your obsession (PLANES AND CARS) and aren’t concentrating (avoiding eye contact). Now your parents think you’re rude and you get infuriated by people who aren't as smart as you as you get envious of their social prowess.

That’s my daily life in a nut shell

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 17:01

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Awesome car. Could do without the plate though.

Good luck, and remember, we’re here for you!

MountainRoadPhysicist > Mercedes Streeter 02/02/2016 at 17:19

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God that sucks. Life seems to always put things on the line with no time as a safety net.

Ash78, voting early and often > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 17:22

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I have GAD and treat it with clonazepam, which is more of an “as needed” type of thing — pretty addictive. A lot of people do better on SSRIs or SNRIs, but I don’t have the patience to have these DOCTORS TREAT ME LIKE A GUINEAU PIG I SWEAR ONE DAY I’M GONNA (gulp)....ooooh, that’s much better.

Hey, is that a 500E? Are we sure?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 17:25

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I now have a mental image of a ‘Stoic Panic Attack’... an unusual combo.

Though I had a panic attack once back in 2008 (divorce-related) and all could do was sit completely frozen while my heart raced and my hands gripped the table.

Not fun.

Hopefully the medication works for you... be very observant of side effects and don’t hesitate to go back to the doctor if anything seems to be going wrong.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 17:33

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Always around to talk Bro

El Rivinado > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 17:36

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Ah Depression, that old thing that likes to fuck you over so much.

After September of 2014, I visited a psychiatrist. She diagnosed me with depression, and I basically went to therapy to help alleviate it. Did jack shit when I found out four weeks in she was going to be closing up shop soon because of family issues, so it made it worse. I should also tell you about medication, medication is a fickle little bitch. My sister has taken Prozac, wellbutrin, all kinds of meds to alleviate her depression, and it was a struggle for her some days, still is. I don’t take medication for my depression, because I don’t wish to take that chance. Medication is like playing roulette with your state of being, it can be hard to figure out which one you need to take and in what dosage, and that’s bad for me, because meds don’t work for me at all. At best, nothing happens, at worst, I get crazy side effects that are worse than normal. That’s just for normal stuff like Aspirin or stuff to fight off sinus problems, I don’t even want to think about what depression meds will do to me. So, I will say that be prepared for medication to fail, because it failed for my sister and it fails for a lot of people.

Aside from that though, find something to hold onto. I can tell you from first hand experience, depression will kick your ass some days. There are days when you will not be able to fight back against it, it will get the better of you. I cannot tell you the days, weeks, months even I’ve gone through, where depression has just broken me. There are some days where it gets so bad for me, the only thing I want to do is to suckstart a 12 gauge. It will happen to you to, but you can’t let it win. I know it may seem odd and cruel to say “suck it up”, but some days, when it gets really bad, that’s all you can do. Find something to take your mind off of it, even if its just a temporary distraction, find something to do and do it, even if it’s going on Oppo and shooting the shit, just do it. If that’s not possible, just remember that tomorrow is another day, hell if you really feel down instead of doing something rash, go lay down in bed, go to sleep for a bit, and wake up. That’s worked for me very well.

Most importantly though, there are some days when it will make you feel like everything is your fault. You will blame yourself for everything in your life, even if it happened years ago and it is out of your control, you will feel like it is your fault. Tell yourself one thing, and I very much neglect to do this more often than not, but tell yourself one thing.

It’s not your fault.

Just tell yourself “It’s not your fault”. When you get like that, that’s not you, the true you, talking, that is the chemical imbalance in your brain fucking with you and making you say things that aren’t true. You can’t believe yourself when you get down like that, tell yourself, “It’s not my fault.”

Look, I’m not trying to like beat you down or make you feel worse, I do mean the best. But I’ve learned that all the stuff that people say sometimes, doesn’t mean a damn thing some days. People can feel pity for you, people can tell you that “It gets better”, people can be as empathetic as possible. But, speaking from first hand experience, those words mean nothing when you truly hit rock bottom and you feel like your in a hole you can’t get out of. But, I can speak from firsthand experience, that if you regard the depression as a real thing, that you acknowledge it as its own separate thing and not who you are as a person, that you realize it does this to screw with you, you can find a way to fight back. It takes time, and its not a battle that you can win easily, sometimes, you’ll feel like your fighting a war you’re doomed to lose and that sucks terribly. But, no matter what, even if its just in a subtle way, don’t give up. Fight back against it, do little things that lessen it’s influence on you, remind yourself of the good things in life, more than anything, tell it to go fuck itself in its sadistic, pitch black, festering asshole. You can win against, not in the long term and not easily, but you can win against it. If nothing else, there are people out there, especially on here, who have their own experiences with it and realize what it’s like. I know that some days comforting words from a stranger on the internet, can’t replace a pat on the shoulder from a person you know to help lighten the burden of life. But, we are here for you man, and we will help out. If you ever need anything to talk about when it comes to this stuff email me at nevertrustthegovernmnet@gmail.com or josephfeyedelem@yahoo.com and I'll try and help you as best as I can.

TheHondaBro > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 02/02/2016 at 17:52

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Thanks bro.

TheHondaBro > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 02/02/2016 at 17:53

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Try picturing Commander Data processing a human panic attack.

TheHondaBro > El Rivinado 02/02/2016 at 17:56

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I’ve definitely had days where it seemed my depression was winning. I’ve even played out various scenarios in my head.

Thank you for writing all that. It means a lot to me.

MuchWagon > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 18:06

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My latest fight along these lines has me learning how the brain works and Buddhism. Be well.

GeorgeyBoy > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 18:10

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Strattera is crap. Just made me sleepy and feel like shit. Gotta get that good stuff like Vyvanse.

I’m glad I no longer take anything. Coffee is enough for me.

TheHondaBro > GeorgeyBoy 02/02/2016 at 18:12

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Eh, it’s worked for other members in my family.

TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 18:32

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Could be an Audi as well.. hard to say

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 18:37

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I’ve been dealing with depression on and off since childhood (but especially since my teen years). It really sucks but things get better sometimes. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.

Hot Takes Salesman > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 18:43

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So you join the “ Reaaaally fucking great at paying attention to shit” club that Im in.

TheHondaBro > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 02/02/2016 at 19:09

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Thanks.

Nibby > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 19:15

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A pair of Camry’s and an early-90s Mercedes Benz 500E.

Sorry about your condition but it’s good you’re getting treated for it.

MuchWagon > El Rivinado 02/02/2016 at 19:56

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+1 on the meds thing, without judgement for anyone who takes them, but I went down that road and don’t like it. I’m talking about SSRI and other long half life anti deps in particular.

MuchWagon > GeorgeyBoy 02/02/2016 at 19:58

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Vyvanse is fully different than Strattera I thought, but funny how all these things are often together. I take vyvanse as needed and its amazing how my anxiety and distraction are linked.

Opposite Locksmith > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 21:00

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I know it seems like it will help but don't take adderall or vyvanse

TheHondaBro > Opposite Locksmith 02/02/2016 at 21:03

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I’ve been told Strattera doesn’t do anything, but it’s worked for a lot of family members, so...

Opposite Locksmith > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 21:09

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Didn’t work for me but that’s cuz I wanted it to. Works for my neighbor. Ask for brintellix, although I’m fine now with nothing, just yoga, guided meditation, and breathing exercises

zeontestpilot > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 22:03

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I just wanted to say, you’re not alone. I suffer from ADD, anxiety, depression, and bi-polar type 2. It’s a challenge, but it can be overcome.

I only take meds for my ADD though. I wouldn’t say my meds stop my head from racing, but makes it more organized, helps me think clearly.

Captain of the Enterprise > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 23:05

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I'm in a similar situation (depression, anxiety) and might be diagnosed ADHD pi soon, I'm here for you if you need help and your not alone.

TheHondaBro > Captain of the Enterprise 02/02/2016 at 23:06

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Thanks.

Captain of the Enterprise > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 23:12

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No problem, I try to remember the little goals like breathing, not killing myself that day(morbid but it’s a big deal for me as I was suicidal for about a sold year and had an attempt), getting food and showering to counteract the negatives that my brain likes to shove in my face. Plus you are getting help which is huge in itself. This might be too much detail, my point isn't trying to one up you or anything but to remind you that with depression it can help to weight things on a different scale.

tsar > TheHondaBro 02/02/2016 at 23:21

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Anxiety/depression checking in here and I’ve got a bunch of meds for that and my migraines. I realize that it’s hard to tell that you have anxiety/depression because it manifests itself in such subtle ways like just not wanting to get out of bed etc.

I don't really have much more to add than the poster above (thanks) except that it sometimes helps to engage in catharsis by venting it out to a friend or writing about your problems. Whenever I do it I feel like a weight is lifted and I find it easier to proceed on whatever I have to do. Just my $0.02 and hope it gets better from here!

pip bip - choose Corrour > TheHondaBro 02/03/2016 at 05:24

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hang in there , you’ll be fine!

Captain of the Enterprise > TheHondaBro 02/03/2016 at 07:37

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Sorry about my comment last night, that was definitely too much. I wrote it after taking my sleeping pill but that doesn't make it ok.

TheHondaBro > Captain of the Enterprise 02/03/2016 at 09:38

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I wasn’t really put off by it.